Relationship Rules Survey

Abstract

The Relationship Rules Survey (RRS) is a comprehensive instrument developed in 2011 by Katlyn Roggensack to quantify and assess the perceived norms and expectations concerning honesty, deception, and disclosure within romantic dyads. The scale is designed to measure both an individual’s personal standards regarding relationship rules and their perception of their partner’s standards. By comparing these dyadic perceptions, the RRS facilitates the study of relationship rule consensus, which is hypothesized to influence relational satisfaction, stability, and communication quality. The full instrument includes the core relationship rules items, measures of relationship satisfaction, commitment, perceived partner knowledge, conflict resolution styles, and demographic information, often incorporating established supplementary scales, such as those related to family communication patterns.

Keywords

Relationship rules, Honesty, Deception, Disclosure, Relational maintenance, Communication norms, Romantic relationships, Interpersonal communication, Consensus, Privacy.

Authors

Katlyn Roggensack

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Purpose

The primary purpose of the Relationship Rules Survey is to provide researchers with a detailed metric for quantifying relationship rules, specifically those related to honesty, secrecy, and transparency. It aims to move beyond simple assessments of satisfaction to explore the underlying structural norms that govern interpersonal communication within a romantic partnership.

The instrument is particularly useful for investigating the link between perceived rule consensus (or lack thereof) and relational outcomes, such as conflict frequency, commitment levels, and overall relationship quality. By asking participants to rate both their own rules and their perception of their partner’s rules across identical items, the survey allows for sophisticated analysis of metacognitive accuracy and dyadic agreement concerning sensitive topics like infidelity, financial disclosure, and personal independence.

Construct

The central psychological construct measured is Relationship Rule Consensus, defined as the degree of agreement between partners regarding the permissible levels of honesty, deception, and privacy management in their relationship. The scale operationalizes this construct through several key dimensions:

• Honesty and Deception Norms: Items addressing the acceptability of “white lies,” omitting details, or distorting minor information to prevent conflict or hurt feelings.
• Disclosure Boundaries: Items focusing on specific areas of required transparency, such as sexual history, financial status, health issues, and drug/alcohol use.
• Surveillance and Autonomy: Items gauging expectations regarding independence, sharing everyday activities, monitoring communication via new media, and the right to check personal belongings.
• Conflict Avoidance vs. Openness: Items exploring the necessity of sharing genuine emotions or issues that may provoke conflict.

Validity

As the Relationship Rules Survey was developed as part of a Master of Arts thesis, the establishment of psychometric properties, including detailed validity evidence, is typically documented within that academic work. The content validity is high, as the items were derived directly from theoretical frameworks concerning honesty, secrecy, and relational maintenance behaviors in romantic relationships.

To fully ascertain construct validity, researchers utilizing the RRS should consult the original thesis, which likely details correlations between the rule consensus scores and established measures of relationship satisfaction and commitment (both of which are included as supplementary scales in the full instrument). The design, which includes measures of perceived partner knowledge and conflict over honesty, suggests an inherent focus on establishing criterion validity against real-world relational dynamics.

Reliability

Specific reliability coefficients (such as Cronbach’s Alpha for internal consistency of the subscales) are expected to be reported in the source thesis by Katlyn Roggensack (2011). Given the instrument’s complex structure, which combines the core RRS items with several established scales (e.g., relationship satisfaction, commitment), the reliability would need to be assessed separately for the newly developed relationship rule items (Items 1-44) and the mirrored partner perception items (Items 45-88).

High reliability would indicate that the items consistently measure the underlying dimensions of expected honesty and disclosure norms. The dual-perspective structure (self vs. partner perception) also allows for the assessment of reliability in predicting partner behavior and attitudes, as measured by the confidence/accuracy items (89-93).

Factor Analysis

The original development of the Relationship Rules Survey likely involved exploratory or confirmatory factor analysis to determine the underlying dimensions of the 44 core relationship rule items. Based on the item content, it is anticipated that the items load onto several distinct factors, such as:

• Transparency/Disclosure: Related to sharing personal history, finances, and health information.
• Acceptance of Deception: Related to the justification of “white lies” or minor distortions to protect the partner.
• Independence/Privacy: Related to retaining personal space, keeping secrets that don’t directly impact the relationship, and autonomy from partner surveillance.

The results of the factor analysis are crucial for determining how the items should be grouped and scored for research purposes, particularly when calculating the discrepancy score used to measure rule consensus between partners.

Instrument

Test Type: Self-report dyadic survey instrument.

Format: Multi-section scale utilizing various Likert scales, a Semantic Differential scale, and percentage-based confidence ratings (0-100%).

Language Available: English.

Population Group: Individuals in romantic relationships (dating, engaged, or married).

Age Group: Typically utilized with adult or university-aged populations involved in dating relationships, as suggested by the original thesis context.

Population Details: The original study focused on romantic partners, requiring responses regarding both the self and the partner’s perceived rules.

Test Methodology: The core RRS items use a 5-point Likert scale (1=Strongly Disagree, 5=Strongly Agree). Other sections use a 4-point scale, a 9-point commitment scale, and percentage ratings.

Keywords

Relationship satisfaction, Commitment, Transparency, Privacy management, Interpersonal communication rules, Dyadic measurement, Relational conflict, Honesty expectations, Thesis instrument.

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Authors

Author ORCID Identifier: Not provided in source content.

Affiliation Email addresses: [email protected]

Correspondence Address: The University of Montana (Affiliation at time of publication).

Permissions & Fee and Test Year

Test Year: 2011.

Permissions and Fees: The instrument was developed within an academic context (Master’s Thesis). Researchers typically require permission from the author, Katlyn Roggensack, for commercial or extensive academic use. The instrument is publicly accessible via the University of Montana’s digital repository, suggesting it is available for scholarly use, provided proper attribution is given.

Reference’s

Roggensack, Katlyn, M.A. (2011). In the game of love, play by the rules: Implications of relationship rule consensus over honesty and deception in romantic relationships. The University of Montana. Master of Arts Thesis.

The original PDF can be downloaded here: http://etd.lib.umt.edu/theses/available/etd-06092011-180315/unrestricted/Roggensack_Thesis_FINAL_6-8.pdf

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Items of the Relationship Rules Survey

Rating Scale (Items 1-44 and 45-88): 1=Strongly Disagree, 2= Disagree, 3=Neither Agree nor Disagree, 4=Agree, 5=Strongly Agree

My Perception of Relationship Rules

1. White lies are not ok between us.
2. What my partner shares with me is up to him/her, and that’s fine with me.
3. We should share everything about our relational history.
4. We should be able to talk about the future of the relationship without lies.
5. Sometimes it’s better not to share things that are just going to start a conflict.
6. Sharing genuine emotions is not necessary all the time.
7. Sexual history is important to share with each other.
8. Secrets are ok unless they will directly affect me (ex – health issues or future of the relationship).
9. Secrets are ok if disclosing them would bring harm to the self or partner, but they should definitely be disclosed if they could strengthen the relationship.
10. Omitting details is ok if it is to avoid hurting my partner’s feelings or upsetting him/her.
11. My partner should tell me if he/she spends time with someone of the opposite sex.
12. My partner should tell me if he/she is facing problems and vice versa.
13. My partner should keep me involved in his/her everyday activities to the point that I know where he/she is a majority of the time.
14. My partner should be honest with me about who is contacting him/her through media if I ever have questions.
15. My partner is not obligated to tell me anything.
16. My partner is not allowed to check my personal stuff such as text messages or my computer without permission.
17. My partner and I should voice our concerns about jealous feelings.
18. My partner and I should disclose where we are financially.
19. My partner and I should disclose everything to each other – nothing should be kept secret.
20. My partner and I should disclose all details about when we “go out.”
21. My partner and I should be honest with each other about needing time alone.
22. My partner and I should be honest regarding feelings about the relationship itself.
23. My partner and I should be genuine about emotions – good or bad.
24. My partner and I must be exclusive.
25. My partner and I don’t need to reveal everything to each other, but if prompted, we should.
26. My partner and I can keep secrets from one another.
27. Just because my partner and I are able to contact each other all throughout the day (as afforded by technology), it doesn’t mean that we should.
28. It’s ok to keep things private that are not damaging to the relationship.
29. It’s ok that we don’t disclose everything about our past history to each other.
30. It’s important that my partner and I retain some independence.
31. It’s better to not share things that will provoke conflict if these things are not a big deal.
32. It is ok to have secrets from each other, unless we directly ask one another about a particular topic in which case we should disclose that information.
33. If it is not affecting the relationship directly, I don’t need to share it with my partner.
34. I think I should be able to know where my partner is at all times.
35. I should know whom my partner is contacting through new media (texting, social networking, emailing).
36. I don’t need to know my partner’s sexual history.
37. I don’t need to know everything my partner is doing daily.
38. Health issues must be shared, regardless of the circumstances.
39. Family issues can be kept private from my partner.
40. Drug or alcohol use should be shared.
41. Distorting minor details is ok.
42. Distorting information is ok as long as it’s something inconsequential/minor.
43. Being direct with each other is necessary.
44. Being completely honest is not always necessary.

My Partner’s Perception of Relationship Rules

45. White lies are not ok between us.
46. What my partner shares with me is up to him/her, and that’s fine with me.
47. We should share everything about our relational history.
48. We should be able to talk about the future of the relationship without lies.
49. Sometimes it’s better not to share things that are just going to start a conflict.
50. Sharing genuine emotions is not necessary all the time.
51. Sexual history is important to share with each other.
52. Secrets are ok unless they will directly affect me (ex – health issues or future of the relationship).
53. Secrets are ok if disclosing them would bring harm to the self or partner, but they should definitely be disclosed if they could strengthen the relationship.
54. Omitting details is ok if it is to avoid hurting my partner’s feelings or upsetting him/her.
55. My partner should tell me if he/she spends time with someone of the opposite sex.
56. My partner should tell me if he/she is facing problems and vice versa.
57. My partner should keep me involved in his/her everyday activities to the point that I know where he/she is a majority of the time.
58. My partner should be honest with me about who is contacting him/her through media if I ever have questions.
59. My partner is not obligated to tell me anything.
60. My partner is not allowed to check my personal stuff such as text messages or my computer without permission.
61. My partner and I should voice our concerns about jealous feelings.
62. My partner and I should disclose where we are financially.
63. My partner and I should disclose everything to each other – nothing should be kept secret.
64. My partner and I should disclose all details about when we “go out.”
65. My partner and I should be honest with each other about needing time alone.
66. My partner and I should be honest regarding feelings about the relationship itself.
67. My partner and I should be genuine about emotions – good or bad.
68. My partner and I must be exclusive.
69. My partner and I don’t need to reveal everything to each other, but if prompted, we should.
70. My partner and I can keep secrets from one another.
71. Just because my partner and I are able to contact each other all throughout the day (as afforded by technology), it doesn’t mean that we should.
72. It’s ok to keep things private that are not damaging to the relationship.
73. It’s ok that we don’t disclose everything about our past history to each other.
74. It’s important that my partner and I retain some independence.
75. It’s better to not share things that will provoke conflict if these things are not a big deal.
76. It is ok to have secrets from each other, unless we directly ask one another about a particular topic in which case we should disclose that information.
77. If it is not affecting the relationship directly, I don’t need to share it with my partner.
78. I think I should be able to know where my partner is at all times.
79. I should know whom my partner is contacting through new media (texting, social networking, emailing).
80. I don’t need to know my partner’s sexual history.
81. I don’t need to know everything my partner is doing daily.
82. Health issues must be shared, regardless of the circumstances.
83. Family issues can be kept private from my partner.
84. Drug or alcohol use should be shared.
85. Distorting minor details is ok.
86. Distorting information is ok as long as it’s something inconsequential/minor.
87. Being direct with each other is necessary.
88. Being completely honest is not always necessary.

Confidence in Predicting Partner Knowledge (Percentage 0% to 100%)

89. How confident are you of your general ability to predict how he/she will behave? _________
90. How accurate are you at predicting the values he/she holds? _________
91. How accurate are you at predicting his/her attitudes? _________
92. How well can you predict his/her feelings and emotions? _________
93. How well do you know him/her? _________

Relationship Quality (Semantic Differential)

94. Miserable: 6 7 :Enjoyable
95. Hopeful: 6 7 :Discouraging
96. Empty: 6 7 :Full
97. Interesting: 6 7 :Boring
98. Rewarding: 6 7 :Disappointing
99. Doesn’t give me a chance: 6 7 :Brings out the best in me
100. Lonely: 6 7 :Friendly
101. Worthwhile: 6 7 :Useless

Overall Satisfaction

102. Completely dissatisfied: 6 7 :Completely satisfied

Disagreements in Relationship (1=Not at all, 4=Great extent)

103. …keeping secrets from each other? 1 2 3 4
104. …not sharing “relevant” information? 1 2 3 4
105. …honesty? 1 2 3 4
106. …deceptive behavior? 1 2 3 4
107. …distorting the truth? 1 2 3 4

Ideal Partner Match (10-point scale)

108. To what extent would your current partner have to match your ideal partner in order for you to have a happy and successful relationship with your current partner?
     1. 0 – 10% of my ideal partner
     2. 11 – 20% of my ideal partner
     3. 21 – 30% of my ideal partner
     4. 31 – 40% of my ideal partner
     5. 41 – 50% of my ideal partner
     6. 51 – 60% of my ideal partner
     7. 61 – 70% of my ideal partner
     8. 71 – 80% of my ideal partner
     9. 81 – 90% of my ideal partner
     10. 91 – 100% of my ideal partner

Commitment Scale (0=not at all agree, 4=somewhat agree, 8=agree completely)

109. I am committed to maintaining my relationship with my partner.
110. I would not be very upset if our relationship were to end in the near future.
111. It is likely that I will date someone other than my partner in the next year.
112. I feel very attached to the relationship – very strongly linked to my partner.
113. I want our relationship to last forever.
114. I am oriented toward the long-term future of my relationship (for example, I imagine being with my partner several years from now).

Demographic Questions

115. How long have you and your partner been in a romantic relationship (altogether)? Years_________________, Months_______________
116. Which of the following best describes your relationship status?
     1. Casual dating
     2. Dating exclusively
     3. Engaged
     4. Married
117. How old are you? _____________
118. What is your sex? a. Male, b. Female
119. What is your ethnicity? a. Caucasian, b. African American, c. Asian/ Pacific Islander, d. Hispanic, e. Native American, f. Other ethnic origin

Family Communication Patterns (1=Strongly Disagree, 5=Strongly Agree)

120. My parents often ask my opinion when the family is talking about something.
121. My parents encourage me to challenge their ideas and beliefs.
122. My parents often say that every member of the family should have some say in family decisions.
123. My parents sometimes become irritated with my views if they are different from theirs.
124. If my parents don’t approve of it, they don’t want to know about it.
125. In our family we often talk about topics like politics and religion where some persons disagree with others.
126. I can tell my parents almost anything.
127. My parents often say things like “There are some things that just shouldn’t be talked about.”
128. In our family we often talk about our feelings and emotions.
129. My parents feel that it is important to be the boss.
130. My parents like to hear my opinions, even when they don’t agree with me.
131. My parents and I often have long, relaxed conversations about nothing in particular.
132. My parents often say things like “You should give in on arguments rather than risk making people mad.”
133. I really enjoy talking with my parents, even when we disagree.
134. My parents tend to be very open about their emotions.
135. When anything really important is involved, my parents expect me to obey without question.
136. We often talk as a family about things we have done during the day.
137. In our family we often talk about our plans and hopes for the future.
138. My parents often say things like “My ideas are right and you should not question them.”
139. I usually tell my parents what I am thinking about things.
140. My parents often say things like “A child should not argue with adults.”
141. In our home, my parents usually have the last word.
142. My parents encourage me to express my feelings.
143. When I am at home, I am expected to obey my parents’ rules.
144. My parents often say that you should look at both sides of an issue.